17 July 2013..........A Psychology or what?....

I always been wondering something, something about my past something about my future. Past which brings fear and sometimes tears, on the other side wondering about future bring some relief and belief. May be it is just an hallucination, but there is some truth behind all of the things.

I always feel, tension and worry is equally important as being not worried and immune to take tension, because these things make you focused and cautious.

Past is the most bitter thing that we have, it doesn't matter whether it was happy or sorrow remembering but it always make you cry. Sound also have some relations with feelings, loud when you are happy, silent when you are sad.Whole life is too small to understand all those things of fear and joy. So I believe balance is what that required to understand as soon as possible. 

Did this happens to you, When you don't want to talk to anybody or someone yet wish that someone ask you about you feel ? I still don't understand why people do this, may be hesitation may be something else. I also come in this category but the question is not about me it is about many of the people. they are confused yet they understand something. I always say,"THOSE WHO ARE BLEAK , THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN COMPLICATIONS, BUT WHEN THEY EXPERIENCED IT THEY WILL NEVER BECOME SIMPLE."

Sometimes you have do things wrong to make outcome right. But what happens when you feel weak without your strong points, actually your strong points are the weak points in you. So never make anything as your strong point make your mind as strong as possible.

The whole para may be different from each other but they link with one thing the "The Human psychology and Understanding".

6 Aug 2013 ... Wondering what on clouds.

Just saw a thick white cloud over my head thinking what above that, silence, music I just can predict it. Continuously moving air is pushing it like a wave. I remember Kalidasa's Meghdoot( a messenger) but it needs a receiver as I don't have any. Suddenly I remember Cloud no. 9 a sound track of Bryan adams but I can't able to succeed to find the answer. Still my question continues what on clouds. I raise my height of imagination and thought of a whole new world. A world of Ideal things, I have my friends with me , my parents, my kin & all my lovers, where I play with them. I saw me as a child who is making small mountains and caves  of clouds. I saw the whole world so happy and without fear. Play, work, talks all were existed in that place. I can fly like a bird, jumping from one cloud to another. I have no words to say how happy I was. I saw my friends asking for me, my school first place of my worship then I move forward, my college days so alive so much of joy just because of my friends. Adventures, lies, truth, love with me and my friends like a timeline I was growing enjoying once again, my life(my childhood) it was the best feeling that I have ever had.

But suddenly I jump on a black cloud, sound of lighting that shivers me, water and water whole around that the fear I have, I found myself alone fighting with no forms. I was weeping with full sound and pain, intolerable fear covered with darkness which is coming closer and closer at every blink of my eyes. I shut my eyes and started screaming as loud as I can, and suddenly I woke up. I saw the watch with sweat on my head it was 2:30 of noon. I was now a bit relaxed and thinking how a beautiful dream can go worse. But this nightmare also reminded me that nothing is constant everything changes in life, and this is what we need to accept.